Wednesday, January 30, 2008

Guide on How to be Robbed as TOURIST at KL

A Genting Theme Park 1 day fully access was more than enough to kill me, already, what’s more harm can a KL trip deal to me?

From my previous KL trip, what I could remember is “sleep =>eat => taxi / transit / bus => shop with friends=> buy comics => buy pc games => eat => sleep”, all these doesn’t seems like what a normal tourist would do.

But this time, it’s kinda amazing, not because of what I’ve done at there, but what I’ve encountered during the shopping stage. I’ve finally become a NORMAL tourist.

"normal tourist"

A normal tourist will search around the shops for souvenirs for friends or family, which I did.

A normal tourist will look at the map, to find out whether any restaurant nearby. I did the sounds-like-the-same-action as well, looking at the shopping mall overview map, to find out any toilet

looking for toilet...

A normal tourist will walk in many shopping complex for 1 sd bb gundam model, I did that as well.

What? A normal tourist wouldn’t do that? Skip it then.

A normal tourist will be robbed. Yes I was.

Huh? This doesn’t happen on other normal tourist, unless the very soi / bad luck one? I think I’m the one.

Where, when and how you’re asking? Simple, go to Sungai Wang there, go inside KFC restaurant and order some fries and drinks like what I’ve done, and find a place near many customers. The word “many” refers to should be more than 10 persons.

no not this kfc...

ya this apek face is the correct 1

Oh btw, DO NOT sit at place near counter, less percentage to be robbed. When you saw someone, or maybe two persons with along ah beng - stepping on shit - look so damn stupid – like never going into a kinder garden school face, they might be the one who will rob you.

horny robber's face...

Again, this is not suspicious, unless you see him sleep on the seat, staring at you, congratulation; you might be their next aim.

How to increase the chance of being a bull eyes? Well speak in mandarin or any others language but strictly NO CANTONESE, and show a noob – tourist face to prove you’re the right one.

must have this noob look to attract them

You can play your handphone when they stare at you, the more expensive phone, the higher chance you have, make sense?

play this while robbers stare at you, % of being robbed goes up

When he or they walk to you, tada!! You’re the chosen one, feel great?

My situation was, the robber pretend to have a knife covered up by his cloth, but you can hardly see the shape of knife print on his cloth, probably a nail – cutting knife he was trying to say.

"don't move!! I got a KNIFE!!" ya right...

Apparently you should have a very frightened look on your face, some facial expression that implies: “oh my god, he got a knife! I’m so scared~” to that robber, even if you know that was a nail – cutting knife.

I'm scared!! Please don't hurt me with your nail - cutte.. I mean knife!!

What’s the point by doing this? So that retard will keep on repeating the same stupid line: “I got a knife, Shut-The-F***-Up and don’t move!”

ya ya, stfu to you too...

They seem to be not creative at all, why not telling me: “I got a nail – cutter, don’t move!”? At least the one who been robbed will try not to laugh at them, that is deadly funny.

Usually they want cash, or any valuable items. Readers, give them whatever they want, except your IC or air ticket, and hide some cash for emergency use. They could hurt you or kill you by their nail – cutter you know? Though it spends up an amount of time.

My case was different, the stupid one want to rob my handphone. You can ask for cash but certainly NOT MY WIFE and my PRECIOUS GUNDAM MODEL INSIDE MY BAG, you SON OF THE PESTS, robbers.

Don't touch my wife you tiny robber!!

and NONO to my gundam model as well, away from them!!

Well if you really don’t want to give them any things, you can try to make a move to escape. However you’ve watched so many movies, and knowing that if you try to do so, Mr. Robber will not let you off easily.

Mine was, he slapped me when I stand up and try to walk to the counter.

Ya he did, for Pete’s Sake. Why he was the one who do so?

I mean, at least let my girlfriend do this, not you Mr. Robber.

I have never been slapped by my girlfriend as well, because I don’t have any yet. Off topic, I don’t feel good at all being slapped by girls, but at least their hands not so smelly.

But Hello? A SWEATY SALT PIG HAND that a robber used to do whatever – I – don’t – wish – to – know action, probably after go in toilet and didn’t wash hand and try to have some “GOLD ORE MINING” in HIS NOSE, slap on my FACE?

Good grief, though my face skin is so thick that can’t feel any painful, but so damn shocked, a GUY SLAPPED ME. He's a gay.

so gay

I swear, if the police could get him, I will get some GAYS and let them stay in ONE ROOM for ONE NIGHT, or more than one night. I can pay for it, unless that robber want dumbledore; no doubt if this will make that robber’s remember this day forever.

you asked me I ask who?

some answer we have here..

But damn shitty things happen, when I run to the counter and tell the KFC employees, ask them to call the police or security, he RAN AWAY. Screw him, come back you GAY – COWARD – Robber!!

Lucky thing is I kept my wife safely, and my gundam model. Screw him again, for giving a souvenir right on my left face, hope he step on dog shit, face fall on guys shit or even better, flood by cow shit.

kill you with this load of shit!!!

Thursday, January 24, 2008

call me apek, call them crazy devils

Note: this entry is not only longer than my nails, but longer than my hair as well

EDITED: Name List of da DEVILS PROVIDED (In Alphabetical Orders)
-> 2 fearless male: Ken and Say Yen
-> 5 cruel ladies: Mandy, Poy Yee, Sher Yin, Yean Yee and Zoe

Add-On: Due to a lady has complaint to me that I spell her name wrongly, should be Zoe not Zoey ( how creative I am), kindly apologize, and hope readers will make the changes once you read the name of Zoey, read it as Z-o-e ( Not much different from mine right?), too lazy to make changes edi, since this streamyx line is so damn down

No doubt, treat old people like me nicely or else you will be next in my blog.

Credit to my cousin aboy, by providing their names correctly. BY RIGHT these names should be correct, if there is still any mistakes in name spelling, HUNT HIM DOWN, not me.

morning view

guess it's too early for birds to woke up, not even seeing any


Part 1: beginning of revealing their evil tails


Will you eat until very full before going into a theme park in the early morning time? Nobody would have done this if they know they might wanna puke after the game right?

However I did, and done it twice time in a day.

Don’t get me wrong, I didn’t puke.

Early morning right after we have our breakfast, we hunt for cousin’s friends in another hotel.

Omigosh, some of them look so comfortable on the bed, not even wake up yet, nowadays teenagers really…( skip lo-so part)

Everything was ready, we reached the counter and paid a whole day unlimited theme park ticket for rm38. I thought it’s gonna be fun, but no idea of how fun it could be.

2 noobs at da entrance: "stare wat stare?"

Double omigosh right after we entered into theme park, so the fun was exactly brought by those heart – attack games?

Do I really need to have fun with those facilities? Look at this one.

born to spin

And this.

I let others feel "heavenly" great

And THIS!!!

maybe you prefer a slower spin

Scare ler? These are only part of them, and my legs already start to shake slightly.

Oof course, I’m not scared of that thing at all, I’m worried I might puke my breakfast on others. Why, your eyes telling me that I’m scared?

Lai la, who scare who? I will try out first one, the swinging-people-to-a-very-high-place machine, piece of cake. The exact name is spinner, for your information.

those 2 ladies have played this for 2nd round

err ken, yan, I don't feel that safe with this belt thing..

ahhaha look at my cousin, now he wanna puke~

we're about to fly high

I heard something, the sound of my heartbeat goes faster and the machine operating sound. Wow cool, it started to lift me up~

…Wait wait, can you stop lifting? This is a bit too high for me…


It works!! I guess the operator heard what I’m shouting to him. By the way why he pressed another button?

Err hold on, I know what that button is for, it’s for spinning the earth. No? You mean, it’s actually I’m the one who’ve been spin?

I feel just great, nothing much scary and this is way of fun,cheh…~


Finally, landed safely. I need some time for walking without spinning for sure. I need to warn them, no more heart attack game for an old folk like me.


Part 2: cyclone anyone?


those teenagers confirmed with me: “ don’t worry lou ye ( old ppl), the next will be safer than this one.” Gladly you all are being so considerable.

…Wei, I don’t think that this mini roller coaster, cyclone is safer than the previous one you know?

“no la lou ye, this one really safe one, only very exciting”

The height of this thing… I think I can stand it, should be no problem to me. Readers, I’ve made a BIG mistake here, don’t trust yourself too much.

The nearer I am to that mini roller coaster, the louder shouting or screaming voice I heard. I asked those girls again: “ I think this one is scary ler, if not how come they scream so loud?”

You know what? Those girls smile like angels and answered: “ no la, they scream because they were too happy mar~”

Okay lor~ Because of happiness mar~ …How come I don’t see their face showing any happiness or joyful emotion?? I think I need to quit. As soon as I want to jump off from the queue and out from there, those with angel smile devils pull my jacket.

“Don’t run, this is fun, trust us la~”

I was trying to hide, wish to find a chance to escape from them, however it ended up unsuccessfully. Once again, I’ve been caught by them.

err..guys?girls? I remember I not yet go to toilet o...can I off now?

This one is 4 person per ride, 2 will be in front and 2 will be at the back, they asked me to sit at the back so that I will feel much better, and not that scary.

Liar. Of course la when the beginning, the speed is slow like snail, so not scary at all la. But when you open your eyes and everything is 360 degree, and even 720 degree spinning all the way round.

I don’t remember how loud did I scream, but I did remember what I’ve screamed so far. “I HATE JOO ALL!!! LIAR!! I TOT U SAID IT’S NOT SCARY AT ALL?! LET ME OFF!!!”


Part 3: peace for a moment, unexpected storm was in front


I swear, no more spin or speedy games after this. That’s it for today, if anyone asking me to play any other games like this, over my dead body.

Think those devils really learn the lesson, they have chosen a gentler one, with a less speedy name as well, flying jumbo. This one is quite comfortable, except the height for sure.

Now I’m suspicious of one thing, did those kids own a license already? Pics tell my doubt.

they can drive without looking at front?

dangerous drivers, they not even holding their sterling

one of them want to horn to takeover...

After this…erm what? They walk to a look like ship thing…Isn’t that the legendary pirate ship? No stop pulling my jacket I tell you…what? That ship is under maintenance? I love maintenance!! Except maintenance to my online games.

at our back the pirate ship was under maintenance, nice~

Some of them suddenly wanted to play something “nice”, a very very significant one, official name is “space shot”. Familiar? It’s a machine that lifts you up gently, and once they reach certain height level and they will drop you down unexpectedly.

shoot you all to space

Great, most of them seems to be reluctant to join this one, however my crazy cousin, adee seems like very interested to join, fine, wishing you good luck then. At last, only 4 of them, ken, zoey, yan and adee want to try this game out. Salute to them.

4 brave souls, from the left to the right: yan, zoey, ken, adee

ahaha, somebody getting scared now, too bad zoey

ken and yan, sad for you 2 as well, bb~

now you see

now you don't

After this game, adee told me that, the feeling was like he can’t feel his butt at all when the machine suddenly went down.


Part 4: amazing!! old folk like me could survive from this!!


Insanity never goes down while you’re with those young crazy nuts, right after this space shot thing they decide to go for the real roller coaster, the CORKSCREW.

getting screw anyone?

Shoot, the name for this thing is so SCREW already, I will off from this one before it screw my mood down. Guess what? Bad luck doesn’t exist only once, they can be continuously happen on you, maybe I should not wear my jacket, cause they’re pulling it again not to let me off from this.

look at this, you know you will feel good

I know I know, every time I repeat shouting and screaming the same thing, and I think I’m so sakai, stupid is more precise. WHY I DON’T CLOSE MY EYES IF I CAN DO SO?? Aboy told me that he closed his eyes from the beginning till the end, really SCREW ah.

screw joo allll........

We decided to go for lunch, Kenny Rogers is fine for me. Before we left theme park, we found out something interesting, Michael Wong is having a concert at Genting, and he’s hiding himself in the Genting stadium there for rehearsal. We could hardly see him from a key – size hole on the door, so…I SCREAMED his name, politely, and walk away before the guard found who’s doing that…

"GUANG LIANG!! want to go lim teh?!!"


Part 5: almost the end of sad it wouldn't end without pirate ship


After the lunch, we decided to go back into theme park again. I think they were really stubborn, cause they wanna check whether the maintenance of pirate was finished or not, pray hard.

Some girls suggested going for merry – go – round, love your suggestion so much. For those who ever watched the romance movie, they should have seen this merry – go – round things appeared in the movies most of the times.

Though it spins as well, but not too fast, I could stand that for sure. The name is quite long, double deck carousel…I don’t care it’s double or triple, as long as I can climb and sit on those steel horse.

spin me, now I feel dramatic

Know what? Those teenagers are really, very, terribly, extremely STUBBORN!! They really go and check the pirate ship out after 2 rounds of merry – go – round, and found out the maintenance was done. SCREW it.

cantonese "hou cham ah.." must run away...

I thought I was smart, since I get my jackets on hand and if they pulled, I will let them hold it. Screw again, not screwing anyone but me. They PULLED MY LONG SLEEVE CLOTH and I felt like a prisoner, they chained you up and walked you to the pirate ship.

great, they got 3 now, my percentage to run away was being reduced

Never feel that faint before, and some of them still go for second round.

look at ken, LOLX

We played bumper boat as our last game, as I have no more energy, therefore I will only be responsible to control that boat and let my cousin handle the rest to let it move.

see how unbalance it was? Hopefully it wouldn't sink...