Wednesday, January 30, 2008

Guide on How to be Robbed as TOURIST at KL

A Genting Theme Park 1 day fully access was more than enough to kill me, already, what’s more harm can a KL trip deal to me?

From my previous KL trip, what I could remember is “sleep =>eat => taxi / transit / bus => shop with friends=> buy comics => buy pc games => eat => sleep”, all these doesn’t seems like what a normal tourist would do.

But this time, it’s kinda amazing, not because of what I’ve done at there, but what I’ve encountered during the shopping stage. I’ve finally become a NORMAL tourist.

"normal tourist"

A normal tourist will search around the shops for souvenirs for friends or family, which I did.

A normal tourist will look at the map, to find out whether any restaurant nearby. I did the sounds-like-the-same-action as well, looking at the shopping mall overview map, to find out any toilet

looking for toilet...

A normal tourist will walk in many shopping complex for 1 sd bb gundam model, I did that as well.

What? A normal tourist wouldn’t do that? Skip it then.

A normal tourist will be robbed. Yes I was.

Huh? This doesn’t happen on other normal tourist, unless the very soi / bad luck one? I think I’m the one.

Where, when and how you’re asking? Simple, go to Sungai Wang there, go inside KFC restaurant and order some fries and drinks like what I’ve done, and find a place near many customers. The word “many” refers to should be more than 10 persons.

no not this kfc...

ya this apek face is the correct 1

Oh btw, DO NOT sit at place near counter, less percentage to be robbed. When you saw someone, or maybe two persons with along ah beng - stepping on shit - look so damn stupid – like never going into a kinder garden school face, they might be the one who will rob you.

horny robber's face...

Again, this is not suspicious, unless you see him sleep on the seat, staring at you, congratulation; you might be their next aim.

How to increase the chance of being a bull eyes? Well speak in mandarin or any others language but strictly NO CANTONESE, and show a noob – tourist face to prove you’re the right one.

must have this noob look to attract them

You can play your handphone when they stare at you, the more expensive phone, the higher chance you have, make sense?

play this while robbers stare at you, % of being robbed goes up

When he or they walk to you, tada!! You’re the chosen one, feel great?

My situation was, the robber pretend to have a knife covered up by his cloth, but you can hardly see the shape of knife print on his cloth, probably a nail – cutting knife he was trying to say.

"don't move!! I got a KNIFE!!" ya right...

Apparently you should have a very frightened look on your face, some facial expression that implies: “oh my god, he got a knife! I’m so scared~” to that robber, even if you know that was a nail – cutting knife.

I'm scared!! Please don't hurt me with your nail - cutte.. I mean knife!!

What’s the point by doing this? So that retard will keep on repeating the same stupid line: “I got a knife, Shut-The-F***-Up and don’t move!”

ya ya, stfu to you too...

They seem to be not creative at all, why not telling me: “I got a nail – cutter, don’t move!”? At least the one who been robbed will try not to laugh at them, that is deadly funny.

Usually they want cash, or any valuable items. Readers, give them whatever they want, except your IC or air ticket, and hide some cash for emergency use. They could hurt you or kill you by their nail – cutter you know? Though it spends up an amount of time.

My case was different, the stupid one want to rob my handphone. You can ask for cash but certainly NOT MY WIFE and my PRECIOUS GUNDAM MODEL INSIDE MY BAG, you SON OF THE PESTS, robbers.

Don't touch my wife you tiny robber!!

and NONO to my gundam model as well, away from them!!

Well if you really don’t want to give them any things, you can try to make a move to escape. However you’ve watched so many movies, and knowing that if you try to do so, Mr. Robber will not let you off easily.

Mine was, he slapped me when I stand up and try to walk to the counter.

Ya he did, for Pete’s Sake. Why he was the one who do so?

I mean, at least let my girlfriend do this, not you Mr. Robber.

I have never been slapped by my girlfriend as well, because I don’t have any yet. Off topic, I don’t feel good at all being slapped by girls, but at least their hands not so smelly.

But Hello? A SWEATY SALT PIG HAND that a robber used to do whatever – I – don’t – wish – to – know action, probably after go in toilet and didn’t wash hand and try to have some “GOLD ORE MINING” in HIS NOSE, slap on my FACE?

Good grief, though my face skin is so thick that can’t feel any painful, but so damn shocked, a GUY SLAPPED ME. He's a gay.

so gay

I swear, if the police could get him, I will get some GAYS and let them stay in ONE ROOM for ONE NIGHT, or more than one night. I can pay for it, unless that robber want dumbledore; no doubt if this will make that robber’s remember this day forever.

you asked me I ask who?

some answer we have here..

But damn shitty things happen, when I run to the counter and tell the KFC employees, ask them to call the police or security, he RAN AWAY. Screw him, come back you GAY – COWARD – Robber!!

Lucky thing is I kept my wife safely, and my gundam model. Screw him again, for giving a souvenir right on my left face, hope he step on dog shit, face fall on guys shit or even better, flood by cow shit.

kill you with this load of shit!!!


~kit~ said...

lolz... haiz...

Ntheng said...

eh don speechless ler kit, i know miri is hot, and u need to give me gold coin...

~kit~ said...

lolz... ok la... u gv me angpao rm100 i gv u 2 gold coins..

the ngiao siao said...

hohoho. ur way of writing is so funny lah. =p eh dont say till ur fon is ur gf lah. be like my friend, he say saber is his gf. HOHOHO maybe u say gundam is ur gf still better XD

Ntheng said...

kit: rm100 for 2 gold coins? u gimme me rm100 and i'll u have the 2 gold-delicious-chocolate-coin lor...XD

ngiao siao:no mar, gundam so "sat", where on earth does a guy get himself a "sat" gf 1? o ya, u better get ready for being tagged soon, real soon

~kit~ said...

lolz... 100 rupiah!

Ntheng said...

Nooooo!!! i want US dollar this time!!!